A new day to complain...

The funny thing about life is that you never know what each day will bring. I never started a weblog to spew all kinds of personal grief, but it is what we find in our personal lives that profoundly effects our view of the world. In recent months, my family dynamic has undergone severe changes in both it's quality, as well as quantity. I don't want to get into the details of it all, but I can say that my current situation has given me a lot to be grateful and sorry for. I have become more grateful of the people who's unwavering support have helped guide me thru the rough shoals of the familial harbor. But for all that I have come to appreciate, I have become aware, and sorrowful of events, attitudes, and perspectives that some of my family have kept hidden. To say that I feel like a man without a country, and leader of a nation, all at the same time is an understatement.

I have spent too much of my precious time sitting idley by as the world passed on, and me doing nothing to slow or change it's coarse. It was during that time, that I was blind to the events surrounding me. I tried, unknowingly, to be a peacekeeper, when I should have been being a warlord. I directed all of the justice, I should have focused on my family, on to the world I could control. Spending so much time eigther unaware, or uncaring, of the happenings in my life at home, I have allowed the floodgates to now be opened, and the swells have engulfed my life. I have, but a few life lines, within my grasp. The brothers I have always know, the sister I need to know better, the mother who's love cannot be mistaken, the brother who I never knew, the friend who I call my brother, and the woman who loves me unconditionally.

With all that I see I have lost, I have learned to see what has always been there, as well as all I have gained. Life is a journey that we take in the dark. Each step we take is a step in cement, for we can always retreat, but can never erase the evidence we leave behind. The best we can do is struggle on, and see where the road takes us. Some roads are long and smooth, while others are short but termultious. We each have our own path, but we must always look not only forward but behind. Sometimes, to go further, we must cut free the weights we drag and carry on with only what we need. Love, honor, duty.

In life, just remember who loves you, and be true to the ones you love. Hold on to the lifelines, they will guide you down the road.